Avoidance™
by Joshua on Nov.19, 2009, under Day by Day...
Someone talked to me today. He told me if you actually allowed yourself to be able to lower down your level of understanding and totally avoid something in life, it actually shows that you have attained another level of maturity in your life.
But I told him no.
I said if you spend your entire life avoiding someone or something, then it actually meant it still has control over your life.
I didn’t know why I blurted it out. Nor did I actually understand it when it first came out of me.
Avoidance..
You are simply coping by not giving yourself a chance to cope.
I am not something. Nor I am someone you should be avoiding.
I didn’t know the things I should’ve known. I didn’t do the things I should’ve done. Now I know the things I should’ve known. Let me do the things that I should do.
To that someone whom actually held a special place in my heart when I couldn’t realise or see it. You still mean something. In fact, more than you and I can ever imagine.
November 19th, 2009 on 6:35 am
Hi Josh, just to let you know that you have silent readers such as myself reading your blog.
Please don’t take this the wrong way. Although I might not be absolutely sure about what you are talking about, but I just tot it might be timely to remind u that this is a public domain. So you might wanna be a little cautious with your selection of words and also the filtering of information from the public eye. Some information when released, can make juicy news for the media for the wrong reasons.
If you think you can take the consequences whatever they may be, I would like to thank you for your frankness and candidness. It’s most appreciated.
November 19th, 2009 on 9:35 am
因为我的英文不太好，所以有时会看不懂你在说什么。我也不太会说话，也不懂我说的话是否符合，但还是希望每当你心情低落时，你可以找你信任的朋友聊聊心事，说出来会舒服点。相信自己的直觉。
November 19th, 2009 on 12:00 pm
Good Day!!
November 19th, 2009 on 1:05 pm
actually , last year . i did th same thing as u ..
avoid th person who is special to me . but now , i have try not to avoid him . and he is th one who avoid me . haha
November 19th, 2009 on 4:28 pm
ohmygosh. were you at takashimaya today?wearing an orange shirt?:D please reply:D
November 19th, 2009 on 4:41 pm
ohmy! were you at takashimaya today? were you wearing an orange tee shirt? please please reply!:D
November 19th, 2009 on 7:29 pm
Wat u said is rite… Hopefully tt someone ll understand it somehow… Aviodin is nt a solution but sometimes its really easier said than done… I’m sure everyone hav their own pt of view… But no matter wat… I still wish tt u can hav wat u wan or who u wan… Jia you le! =)
November 19th, 2009 on 7:49 pm
when we kept on avoiding something. it will hunt us down
November 19th, 2009 on 7:53 pm
Joshua, what do you mean by “Now I know the things I should’ve known. Let me do the things that I should do.” If there’s something you should do, do it! Don’t have any regrets in life. Once you have a regret, it’ll keep you from going forward. About “avoiding”, there’s 2 things about it. 1st, there are somethings to avoid, like bad influences etc. 2nd, there are somethings you try to avoid, but in the end, it’ll still comeback to you. You’ll have to think and recognize which things are the ones you should avoid, which ones to not.
Look, I’ve left you lots and lots of comments, which I have no idea if they’re useful or not. But no matter what, I want to help you. That’s why I’m here. By “here”, I mean on this Earth. I think that’s why God placed me here, to help those in need. That’s my purpose in life, to help those who need help. If there’s something you need to say, just post it on your blog. I read it everyday and I’ll leave you a comment.
God be with you always.
Rebecca
November 19th, 2009 on 8:22 pm
nope
November 19th, 2009 on 8:50 pm
Hello ! Jiayou ! Don’t avoid! You rock!
Go for it!
November 19th, 2009 on 9:46 pm
You are deep..
You remind me of a friend of mine who talks like that
You know the part where you say “if you avoid someone or something, it actually meant it still has control over your life.”
Totally agree with you.
eeked.
November 20th, 2009 on 12:09 am
Be strong, Joshua. I believe you’re going through a phase in life where sometime things are just so complicated, and you always get frustrated. Keep going on though, don’t give up. The answers are at the end of the road, to get there, keep persevering. God is with you, all the time. God bless.
November 20th, 2009 on 8:25 am
you weren’t? Oh haha then i’ve got the wrong guy then. Well, I would say that these things or people that you avoid, some how or rather you would have to face it head on some time. So maybe you should when you feel the time’s ripe.
Omg! Its rare that you reply me! Imma happy kiddo! Hahaha!^^
November 20th, 2009 on 10:38 am
Joshua, I just opened a blog. I’ll give you the address onse I’m finish typing today’s post. I want you to read it. It might help you. Whatever happens, don’t give up. There’s always a bright side. Remember, as long as you stay strong in the Lord, He will guide you and give you strenght.
Support you in everything you do.
Rebecca
November 20th, 2009 on 11:02 am
Joshua, please visit my blog. http://www.dailyprayerforyou.blogspot.com
Anyone can visit it.
Joshua, read it. It might give you something to think about.
God bless you.
Rebecca
November 20th, 2009 on 11:16 am
hey joshua .
erm…is this really you ? i havent seen this side of you before…every post i read , your going through something in your life thats impacted you alot but not in a good way… well, th main reason why i commented today is that i wan u to cheer up ! like last time. look at all your previous posts..(th first few) your always happy and has sth happy to talk abt…i want , no , ALL your fans want that joshua back. we’re all cheering you on so that you can get through this time in your life. so please cheer up ? we all want that cheerful joshua back again .
November 20th, 2009 on 5:57 pm
亲爱的 说汉语把
都中国人嘛 哈哈
知道有一种工具叫qq吗？
猜你不知道
November 20th, 2009 on 6:00 pm
我的英语已经差到一定的境界了，就不献丑了
ai 也不知道说什么
就想说说
正所谓
看不见面目从容的退让，沉默与自私的早些年
November 20th, 2009 on 6:03 pm
大道理谁都知道
都是追究的每个人的身上确又不同
他人的成功或者失败无法复制在你的身上
亲爱的
你就是你
勇敢面对
没有什么解决不了
因为你是男人！
November 21st, 2009 on 11:36 am
哈哈，看来我们的赐建有一颗敏感多愁的心啊，男孩子就应该快乐阳光些！我喜欢你明媚的笑容！也许每个人都有两面，这个博客是你的忧伤面吧？其实你很幸福的，有这么多人的支持，祝福，所以快乐、快乐、再快乐点吧！
November 21st, 2009 on 2:52 pm
Joshua, avoiding is not the way to deal with something. You should face it, let it know that you are in control. Don’t let your problems or worries conquer you. It is just an emotion, a feeling. But you are a person, a someone. You should be in control.
All the best.
Rebecca
November 21st, 2009 on 8:34 pm
Looks like your posts are getting better… Thank you very much for acknowledging my feedback…
November 21st, 2009 on 11:54 pm
‘I said if you spend your entire life avoiding someone or something, then it actually meant it still has control over your life.’
i totally agree with you, because when u r avoiding it, u r actually thinking about it.
=)
November 22nd, 2009 on 12:03 pm
Jiayous (:
God bless you
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:29 pm
原来有些事真的是不经意的完整，有些人真的是出乎想象的命中注定……无论上天给我怎样的躯壳，我上演了十七年的悲欢，一些人一些事就这么明明灭灭地刻在沿途的风景中。我学会了安稳学会了谎言学会了冷静学会了沉默学会了坚忍。辗转中的快乐在百转千回中碎成一地琉璃，我站在风中把它们扫进心底最阴暗的角落。再也没有关系。那样明眸皓齿地对别人微笑，灵魂喷薄影子踯躅。只剩坚强无处不在。
所以如果有不幸你要自己承担，安慰有时候捉襟见肘，自己不坚强也要打得坚强。还没有衣不蔽体食不果腹举目无亲，我们没有资格难过，我们还能把快乐写得源远流长。
这是我最喜欢的一段话 希望你也喜欢。
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:33 pm
但你不会忘记我。你不需要忘记我。我对于你来说是那么轻，你可以将我当做星期日下午的棉花糖一样不时吃一下，调调生活的味儿。你一个人的时候你会想念我，想念我对你的执恋，想：我遇到过一个热烈的女子。
我却要花一生的精力去忘记，去与想念与希望斗争；事情从来都不公平，我在玩一场必输的赌局，赔上一生的情动。
……
一定会有那么一天。记忆与想念，不会比我们的生命更长；但我与那一天之间，到底要隔多长的时候，多远的空间，有几多他人的、我的、你的事情，开了几多班列车，有几多人离开又有几多人回来。那一天是否就掺在众多事情、人、时刻、距离之间，无法记认？那一天来了我都不会知道？我不会说，譬如一九七六年四月五日在天安门广场，我忘记了你。当时我想起你但我已无法记得事情的感觉。所以说忘记也没有意思，正如用言语去说静默。
—-《无爱纪》
还有这个
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:34 pm
日子过得好累
哎！真不知道自己以后会干什么
迷惘啊
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:41 pm
现在干嘛呢？
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:45 pm
喜欢偶像很矛盾
因为觉得有时候在你身上找到自己的影子
但毕竟你还是你
不是谁
算了
可能是年龄的关系吧
过了这个年龄阶段可能会好点
期待你的好作品哦
如果你不进步
我们会离开你
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:48 pm
但你不会忘记我。你不需要忘记我。我对于你来说是那么轻，你可以将我当做星期日下午的棉花糖一样不时吃一下，调调生活的味儿。你一个人的时候你会想念我，想念我对你的执恋，想：我遇到过一个热烈的女子。
我却要花一生的精力去忘记，去与想念与希望斗争；事情从来都不公平，我在玩一场必输的赌局，赔上一生的情动。
……
一定会有那么一天。记忆与想念，不会比我们的生命更长；但我与那一天之间，到底要隔多长的时候，多远的空间，有几多他人的、我的、你的事情，开了几多班列车，有几多人离开又有几多人回来。那一天是否就掺在众多事情、人、时刻、距离之间，无法记认？那一天来了我都不会知道？我不会说，譬如一九七六年四月五日在天安门广场，我忘记了你。当时我想起你但我已无法记得事情的感觉。所以说忘记也没有意思，正如用言语去说静默。
—-《无爱纪》
November 22nd, 2009 on 2:49 pm
原来有些事真的是不经意的完整，有些人真的是出乎想象的命中注定……无论上天给我怎样的躯壳，我上演了十七年的悲欢，一些人一些事就这么明明灭灭地刻在沿途的风景中。我学会了安稳学会了谎言学会了冷静学会了沉默学会了坚忍。辗转中的快乐在百转千回中碎成一地琉璃，我站在风中把它们扫进心底最阴暗的角落。再也没有关系。那样明眸皓齿地对别人微笑，灵魂喷薄影子踯躅。只剩坚强无处不在。
所以如果有不幸你要自己承担，安慰有时候捉襟见肘，自己不坚强也要打得坚强。还没有衣不蔽体食不果腹举目无亲，我们没有资格难过，我们还能把快乐写得源远流长。
November 23rd, 2009 on 7:42 pm
Anyone remember this movie called Nobody’s Child 谁来爱我? The one directed by Lin Wenhui, where Joshua plays a kopitiam assistant, and a girl whose mum goes on an affair with the assistant’s boss’s husband. The kopitiam assistant accidentally stabbed the girl in a fight with the boss’s husband. I don’t know where to find it and I want to watch it so badly.
November 24th, 2009 on 7:32 pm
To Anonymous: You can try shops like bluemax or TS… Sometimes they still keep it in some storage de… U hav to ask dem… N i agreed tt e show is VERI nice… I watched it quite a few times… =)
November 24th, 2009 on 9:00 pm
Joshua, stay strong. Nobody likes to see you like that. Why are you depressed nowadays? Look at your previous posts. What is the problem? What’s going on?
All the best.
Rebecca
November 25th, 2009 on 12:02 am
希望你过得快乐些！！这才是我们想看到的！！
November 25th, 2009 on 8:15 pm
Haha.AGREE!Avoid someone or something is definitely not a good choice. Don’t avoid. Follow your heart ;D JIAYOUS!!!
November 25th, 2009 on 8:47 pm
..
November 26th, 2009 on 1:25 am
hey josh, i’m a big fan. anyway, just want to say that i lost someone close to me recently too. no one but yourself will know how much it hurts, and sometimes you just can’t do anything except to put one foot in front of the other, to take one day at a time, and live life in a way that makes her proud. it is my prayer that you will find the strength to do so, every day. jiayou!
November 26th, 2009 on 4:52 pm
Hi,Joshua.
If you know what you really want to do,and you don’t abandon hope,your life will be what you want to be one day.I think I can only say that.
November 26th, 2009 on 7:53 pm
You make perfect sense. If you continue to avoid someone, it means he/she still has control over your life. Glad that we’re actually kind of on the same frequency.
Different situations require different solutions. But I guess whatever it is, never do things you’ll regret. And just live life the way you want it because we cannot go on pleasing everyone.
These things are cool right. When you think deeper into life and everything, you realise everything happens for a reason and stuff. It makes you feel intellectual.
And by the way, anonymous who commented on 23 nov 7.42pm, I do have that. And if I’m right, it can still be found in shops like TS and PohKim, at least I bought it there. But it has been at least 2/3 years since right, but do check it out!
November 27th, 2009 on 5:02 am
Today is thanks giving. I am alone with myself, no turkey, no party. I visit ur website. The clips here give me lot of fun and make me feel better. Thank you, Joshuha, who help pull myself through the hard time.
Wish you only the best.
twinsen
November 28th, 2009 on 1:43 pm
Hi
I read Alvin comment and thought that what he said was quite throught after reading your blog……
November 29th, 2009 on 12:53 am
heya janell’s , huijuan’s friend . well , read ur post .. so cheerup kay ? (: many many ppl are supportinq u . we must not avoid things , but instead , we should pick ourselves up and face it . only then we could solve problems like that , well , i’ve said what i wanted to , so takecares !
jiayous !
~ yvonne .
November 29th, 2009 on 12:58 am
hello janell’s and huijuan’s friend .
read ur post , yep , avoidance is not what we should be doinq .
instead , we should pick ourselves up from where we fall and continue to move on .
no one wants to be avoided .
th feelinq is just so hurtful if tt someone knws it .
well , takecare & jiayous !
November 29th, 2009 on 8:15 pm
yea ! i wana watch it badly too ! joshua , do you mind uploading it here ? i dont think they are selling th cd anymore …
November 30th, 2009 on 1:03 am
i think sometimes its not a question of avoiding or accepting. things need time and your personal level of understanding to come to a closure. or if not closure, a stage where u can see everything clearly above water surface without struggling to. but it cant be forced. i dont know how to phrase this, but when its time, you will realise. just that it takes longer for some others.
December 1st, 2009 on 12:25 am
hi. (I’m just bored)
Dont have to reply this.
December 2nd, 2009 on 12:58 am
I spent an entire 6-7 months trying to avoid that someone. Erased every single way I could have gotten into contact with him. Still, he seeps into my life almost absolutely every single day.
I thought I was coping well. But is avoidance simply taking away my chance of coping ?
It sucks. It sucks because he doesn’t even care.
December 2nd, 2009 on 3:37 am
i think wat you’re experiencing is existential angst.
December 2nd, 2009 on 2:20 pm
Joshua, you’re busy lately, aren’t you?
How are you doing? Better? Still having problems? Please let me know how you are doing nowadays? Haven’t heard anything from you for a long long time…
Rebecca
December 3rd, 2009 on 8:41 pm
You finally found the time to read the comments commented to your blog…
Hope you’re doing fine now. You changed, you know… Just by reading your blog, it’s obvious enough to know that you’re different. You became more angry and upset about things. What caused you to become like that? Can you find yourself again? I really want the old Joshua back… I miss that part of you…
Rebecca
December 4th, 2009 on 2:59 pm
hope euu sucess in everything euu do . God bless euu
December 5th, 2009 on 7:42 am
Hi, I like your performance in “I not stupid” very much. Wish you happy!
December 6th, 2009 on 11:09 pm
Hey joshua!
Just wondering if you are a christian? In 1 Peter 5:7 of the Bible it says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” Just wanted to share this word of encouragement with you! He cares! Jesus Cares!
December 9th, 2009 on 9:07 pm
i just realised i haven’t been here for so long.
the ups and downs and the people around us are what make our lives fulfilling.
dont avoid, face whatever and whoever that comes your way.
gambatte kudasai.
December 10th, 2009 on 3:44 pm
Hey Joshua,
Even when you quit the media, we are still your big big biggest fan! Jia You!
How are you doing? Fine?
Hmm, Just watch finish ” I not stupid ” All the series. ^_^ Even the one that you stay at Shawn’s house. ^_^ Very nice. Both you and Shawn are my idol!!! Natural and great! Anyways, don’t be so sad and stuffs. You seem to be very depressed nowadays! Don’t alright! Be strong! All of us will always be a big fan of you and support you!
December 10th, 2009 on 4:16 pm
Hello!
You are feeling a lil’ emotional these day?
Cheer yo!
By the way,
Or 
” in your post…
or 
” again in your next post! ^_^
You used to be very happy and cheerful. Even in your post. Around April or so, a lot of people was an idol of you. But, now, erm, as in you should be more happier and cheerful! don’t be so sad or whatever. You know, when you are sad in your post, people too will feel sad. As in, ME. Others i do not know but i just hope that you can be like last time blog often and always very happy ^_^ I feel that when you are happy, there will be more response/comment because people feel glad that you are happy and they will feel happy, too. I do not know how to explain. But but, I just hope that you can be happy. I do not know you but reading your emo post will make me sad and i will just feel very angry out of a sudden. I hope to see a new happy post with loads of picture ^_^ Lastly, i had rather that you in a club having fun with your friends than you emoing like this…
Cheer up YO!
A big fan of you always. Like what ” big fan ” said, ” Even when you quit the media, we are still your big big biggest fan! Jia You!”
I definitely agree on that.
Ps, You used to have ”
I really hope to see ”
With best regards,
—— (passerby)
December 10th, 2009 on 4:44 pm
People do the best and God will do the rest.
Take care of yourself.Health is the base of everything!
December 10th, 2009 on 5:21 pm
Hello. ^^
in your next few posts! I hope you can and will read this T_T
Nice blog Joshua!
Don’t be sad alright! Cheer yo!
Agree with passerby.^^
We all hope to see
Bye and take care!
<33333
December 10th, 2009 on 5:58 pm
Hey Joshua,
Somehow or rather, my post suddenly “POOF” no more already.
Anyway,
I haven really forgot what i said so probably i will write in 1 more time ^_^
————————————————–
How are doing these day? A lil’ emotional huh?
Come on, what’s wrong? Cheer up alright!
Don’t be so upset…
You know, when i read sad or emo posts, i will be sad, too. I believe most people do.
OR 
” and you will blog very often now this is when de post?
” but the way you blog shows that you are upset.
Oh and ya,
Just now i was looking at your photos, videos and older posts.
You were much happier last time!
Why?
Why the sudden change?
In your older post,
I will usually see ”
19 OF NOVEMBER!
Few more days and it will be a month!
…
But, now, even though i don’t see ”
Know something,
When you are happy, there will be more response/comment because people will be glad to know that you are happy.
I am not trying to say or mean the more comments/ response means you are popular or so.
There sure will be quiet readers who don’t comment/response yeah?
And you are popular don’t need such comments/response to prove that you are pop.
I don’t know how should i explain it…
Just bear in mind,
Think of GOD. He will help us when we are in need of help and when we are helpless…
Just relax and think of him. Everything, will be alright in a while time. ^_^
Joshua,
I just hope that you will be happy from today(10/12/09) onwards!
I hope that whenever you are upset, you will think of GOD. Our 1 and only GOD. ^_^
Cause i know, when you think of GOD and give him a quiet but fast prayer, you will be alright.
Man’s word may not be able to heal you,
but, GOD word definitely will.
Anyway,
, 
”
I just hope that you will take care.
Be happy always.
That is what i hope to see alright
Also,
In your next post,
please have these ”
Alright?
Bye and take care.
Your forever fan. ^_^
Will always support you even when you leave the media.
Life time fan
December 11th, 2009 on 11:05 pm
Take care please.
I am really worried!
December 12th, 2009 on 12:25 pm
Hey Josh!
How are you doing?
Fine? I hope you are yeah!
Hmm,
What happen to you?
You are becoming a really sad person who don’t update blog anymore.
Please update your blog!
WE MISS YOU ALRIGHT!!!!
Stay STRONG! =)
Be strong Josh =)
TAKE CARE!!! =)
December 12th, 2009 on 12:34 pm
How come my post don’t have one?!?!?!?!
Ahhh, JOSHUA TAKE CAREE!!!!
Don’t like that ah!!!
December 12th, 2009 on 8:14 pm
Hi Joshua,
CHeer up yeah!
Don’t be so sad!!!
December 12th, 2009 on 11:55 pm
Smile. It really isn’t that hard. =)
December 13th, 2009 on 10:18 pm
Hey Joshua , what happen to you? You aren’t like this in the past , although I know I’m nothing to you but I don’t know why from the first time I saw you in the movie , it’s just somewhat makes you something to me, I feel connected with you. I know you will never reply my comment but commenting without reply I’m already used to it so ya never mind. You will be in my prayers I really hope god will give some of my blessing and strength to you so that you can be stronger to face all the ups and down in your life . Ha I think I saw and talk with your daddy then you
December 13th, 2009 on 10:20 pm
More*
December 14th, 2009 on 1:57 pm
Hey :} Go for what you believe !
Love are something worth fighting for :}
December 16th, 2009 on 6:55 pm
hey joshua i think u should just follow what u thing believe in your heart.ha has that is what tv alway’s say and that’s what i totally believe .
December 16th, 2009 on 6:56 pm
hey Joshua i think u should just follow what u thing believe in your heart.ha has that is what TV always say and that’s what i totally believe .
December 16th, 2009 on 6:58 pm
sorry ah my english not that good so please forgive me.
December 16th, 2009 on 7:02 pm
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December 20th, 2009 on 4:12 am
Hi Josh,
Just struck me that wat u said is true. Its a little scary I’ve been avoiding someone special for 3 years now, yet it still lingers so strongly but i don’t even know why I just can’t move on from it…
btw, do you have a picture wit ur new hairstyle you can post on this blog? I love the way u side-crop ur hair, but i’m not sure how to describe it to the hairdresser. A pic will be helpful! p.s. tried to google ur pic but all the old ones from I not stupid and table of glory came up, quite hard to find recent pics of u . Thanks, Josh!
December 30th, 2009 on 9:19 pm
T。T i’m still avoiding someone special that is also ur fan for 2 years…. i hope she noe i still like her.. sobSOB..