Joshua Ang | Joshua Ang, a Singapore MediaCorp Artist

Hey netizens! Sorry I haven’t been able to update for a while now. I’m currently in the midst of filming 2 dramas right now so things are a lil tight for me during this period of time. One of the dramas is being aired at the moment titled Your Hand in Mine 想握你的手 on channel 8 and I’ll only be on air from the 41st episode so remember to stay tuned. The other is 红白喜事 which I figure will probably be a mid year show in 2010. Work has been pretty hectic for me lately but fortunately I’ve got 2 days rest from now. ^^

It’s prime time for me to do some shopping as well cause Christmas is right round the corner! Christmas is actually the only festive season that I celebrate but I guess it’ll be a little different this year. Every year during Christmas there’ll be loads of things that I want for me myself and others around me. 

But this year, all I want for Christmas, is you.

Someone talked to me today. He told me if you actually allowed yourself to be able to lower down your level of understanding and totally avoid something in life, it actually shows that you have attained another level of maturity in your life.

But I told him no.

I said if  you spend your entire life avoiding someone or something, then it actually meant it still has control over your life. 

I didn’t know why I blurted it out. Nor did I actually understand it when it first came out of me.

Avoidance..

You are simply coping by not giving yourself a chance to cope.

I am not something. Nor I am someone you should be avoiding. 

I didn’t know the things I should’ve known. I didn’t do the things I should’ve done. Now I know the things I should’ve known. Let me do the things that I should do. 

To that someone whom actually held a special place in my heart when I couldn’t realise or see it. You still mean something. In fact,  more than you and I can ever imagine.

That’s right guys I’m back. Anyway I believe my previous entry attracted a lot of attention to me. I’m actually fine. Well, then again maybe not. I was definitely feeling low and down at that moment in time but I guess work has managed to get rid of all the shiet that I’ve been feeling. No, not all, just some. 

I’ve been busy the past few days and I will still be, especially the upcoming month. I’m actually doing another Tv Drama in Dec while still doing my 180 episode drama Your Hand in Mine™, which is already airing. Seriously, I love loading myself with tons and tons of work so I can get away from the shiet that I’m feeling. 

But like I’ve mentioned in the previous entry. I’m not the same as before. I don’t know why. I did something crazy(not wrong) recently and told Joe about it. The look of his face when he asked me if I’m sure. It didn’t make me think twice though. I thought I was sure, and I think I still am. I might not go ahead. Definitely not now. But maybe in the near future I guess, who knows?

I thought I truly existed. But moments just pass by your life like that. Sometimes I wonder, who/what is my justification of existence. Or rather, whose justification of existence actually needs me to complete it.

All I want, is to be given a meaning to my life that I have no right to expect, and that no one can ever take from me. You gave me life. Now show me how to live. 

Sometimes I can’t even make out the words that come out of my mind.

I really think I need medical help. A neurologist to be exact. Somethings pretty much wrong with me. I’ve been beggining to feel so short tempered, so angry with things when it doesn’t go my way. I’ve been slamming things. Throwing things. Sheesh, this isn’t me. Even someone close to me asked if i need medical help. 

Time to direct my anger towards people instead of things. Time to focus my energy on answers, not excuses.

No no no, one more D and I’m in trouble.

God help me.

Good morning guys!! Well, it feels great to be up this early ^^ I haven’t actually washed up so I’m gonna keep this short. Just wanted to update my blog a lil and keep you guys informed about what I have been doing. 

Anyway, I’ve been recuperating at home after getting into an accident while i was filming. It actually happened about a week ago but fortunately, I’m alright now. ^^ I’ve been back to work the past few days after my rest and everything’s back to normal so don’t worry or bother wondering what happened. 

It’s been quite a while since I actually came across a good movie or book. The last book that I mentioned was Persuasion by Jane Austen if my memory hasn’t failed me. If you haven’t read it, please do

I actually caught a movie titled The Time Traveller’s Wife bout 2 days ago. Gee, it WAS good! Audrey Niffenegger actually published the book back in 2003 and i knew it’s existence (book i mean). But i wasn’t really a sci-fi guy or a fan of time travelling so I didn’t actually picked it up. Ahh, how i wished i did before watching the movie! I’m still prolly gonna pick up the book soon enough though. ^^

And the pups, yeah the pups. Hah! They’re all trying to crawl around now. Eyes opened and curious about everything. Hehehe, I should be naming them aye? 

I’m gonna be washing up. Should hit the gym. IPPT’s been on my mind all week. Hmmmm

It’s been a while since i last updated. As some of you guys might know, I spent the last 2 weeks in Australia, Sydney. Anyway, I managed to get back in time for my beloved brother’s birthday. Couldn’t do much at such a short notice though , so i only managed to plan a small barbeque with his friends and mine. 

You’re finally 19 now my dear. I just wanna tell you, I’m straightening my life, to straighten yours. Come to think of it, i think you’ve grown up so much as well, and I’m proud of you. Exams are round the corner, and I know you’re putting in a lot of effort. But I’m finally gonna take you out on your 2 month holiday provided if you got no work.  

I love you Joseph. Forever, now and until the end. You are, and always will be my brother. I’ll be with you through your tears, the pain, and joys, the good, the bad, and everything else in-between.  

It was nice catching up with my friends back in Australia. I have some friends back in Sydney studying see. Thank you Somnang Kang, for allowing me to bunk in with you. Putting up with my nonsense and making me laugh all the while when I’m in Sydney. I really appreciate it. It was nice to see you again after so long. Funneh thing is, you’re  still pretty much the Tim i used to know eh? I’m kinda miss having Crown beer with you while you shout at my ears. Haha!

Jihee, it’s been 6 years already. Even if it’d be another 6 or the rest of my life, nothing will change. It’s not a goodbye, only a very long I’ll see you later. But, it’s true. 

My bro DK, I know you’ve been wanting to pour out everything onto me. I guess i’ve been mean for the past few days that we had. But yeah, you know I love you too bro. And i mean it. 中国四大美女   杨贵妃,  王昭君,  西施,  貂婵. I never failed to forget this shiet. But now i’ll remember. 

I’ve been penning my thoughts down randomly, at any time of the day. I wrote a lot back in Sydney and i might just come up with something different that I’ve never done before. I’m not exactly a good writer, but i wish to do something in remembrance for you. We’ll see huh? I love you

Dad hasn’t been sleeping well lately. Always waking up every night, at the time you always do, to make breakfast for us. I miss your loud footsteps outside my door. Always checking if i’m asleep or not. :’) He painted the house today, since you were always complaining of that stupid green. Yea, i know it was ugly. It’s light blue now though, your favourite colour. 

We’re talking now, me and pope. Everything’s gonna go the way you always wanted. I promise. 

Anyway, I realised i’ve been to tons of countries. My last one with you, which i still have loads of memories was Sydney. That’s why I’m going there again. To get away from things maybe? But whatever it is, I’ll be safe, I promise.

I saw you the other night, and how i wish you hadn’t left. 

I’ll be at Mandai to see you again later. I love you.

It’s been a while since i last posted. I know. To be honest, I haven’t found the strength to do it, yet. But as i was listening through the playlist of my iPod, i stumbled over a song titled “Storm” sung by Jason Wade from Lifehouse. It was actaully a song written by Jason himself about his walk and relationship with God. But what reminded me most, was listening to it with my mom in my car whenever i drove her around. She hated me listening to rock music, so i added this song to my playlist to please her. And yeah, she really liked this song. 

Playing it over and over again really brought back a lot of memories. Memories about my Godmum Julie Abigail. My mom. Everything. 

How long have I 
been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form. 
Water’s getting harder to tread, 
with these waves crashing over my head. 

If I could just see you, 
everything will be alright. 
If I’d see you 
this darkness will turn to light. 

And I will walk on water. 
And you will catch me if I fall. 
And I will get lost into your eyes. 
And everything will be alright. 
I know everything is alright. 

I know you didn’t 
bring me out here to drown. 
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose, 
cause I’m so used to living underneath the surface.  

——————————————————————————————————————————–

I always believed it’s a phase that everyone will have to go through, and I’d consider it a privilege to go through it. Being able to know that you had someone who had such undying love for you. But ever since her passing, i’ve been asking myself every night. Why has it to be now for me?

I guess i gotta give it to God this time around. Thank you for taking her to a better place. Thank you for bringing her into my life.

——————————————————————————————————————————–

To the most awesome lady who was and will ever be in my life. Thank you so much. I’ll take it from here now, managing the family the way you did. I know you’re still here, and i still need your guidance. I’ll see you soon. I love you mommy.

Hello everyone! Start following me on Twitter already! From today, I’ll be updating twitter using my mobile. I hope i get the chance to take photos and send them to twitpics too Cheerios

Ps: it’s Joshuaang

A video of an unknown lifeform in North Carolina sewers was put up on youtube.com just yesterday. 3million views in just 1 day. Amazing huh? But what’s most interesting are the comments. Hahaha!!
Take a look at it:

After much research from the net, you guys won’t have to crack your heads anymore because they’re known as Bryozoan.  And while researching, i also stumbled across this gross video.

Take a look:

Something to gross your weekend out eh? These are known as Bot Fly larva and can even be passed on by mosquitoes carrying these bot fly eggs. Hmmmmm…