Today while I was on my way to church, I realized something. That I’ve been looking through the rear view mirror way too much towards my journey to the end.

But I’ve decided, as of today 1017. I’ll only be looking through the windshield. Rear view mirror’s only for safety checks.

My pact with Hades. I figured it was my entire life that flashed before me. Though I couldn’t exactly make out or remember anything. Was it worth watching? I don’t know.

However hard I try to forget the rear view mirror. My entire life is still gonna flash through my eyes and mind again. At least one more time. Worth watching or not? Does it really matter?

At least I knew and got disappointed. Rather than not know a thing and always wondered.

Can’t go back now to make a new start. But I guess I can still start now to make my new ending. Figured I rather squander my precious Life on people who loves me instead, much.

Goodbye 1017.

It’s been 3 days since the wrap of  红白喜事, which I suppose will be airing in April on Channel 8. Honestly speaking, it’s been wonderful working with the casts and crew. It was actually quite fun working with Elvin and Jeanette for the first time. And thanks guys, for my birthday dinner we had. Hehehe.

Maybe it was my character in the drama or maybe it was my co workers around me. But I really felt happy during the entire 3 months of filming.  Thanks for putting up with my nonsense, and all the concern for me Elvin. And thank you 大姐 for all the love and care you showed to me. I loved working with you guys!

Still no break for me though. Everyone around me seems to be going on holiday trips except me. Even Joe is leaving on the 10th for a week’s trip to Taiwan. Tsk, fancy leaving me home alone with my pope. I really should go on a trip as well. And as soon as possible.

Anyway, thank you everyone for all the birthday well wishes. I’ll try to post up some pictures if I can get my hands on any.

Have a little captain in yourself Joshua. Goodnight.

You were awesome today. Much. In fact, it was so amazing that I really thought I was beyond reach of God’s grace. It’s pretty awkward getting back to your usual effed self, and allowing me to smash stuffs thinking it’d make me feel better you know? Often, I do puzzle myself  at why you tease me so mercifully.

But to a special sister of mine. Maybe you didn’t realize how much you said meant to me today. Thank you, for being more than a friend. Thank you, for asking and caring about me. And I thank you again, for sharing with me. Because you didn’t have to, but I’m really glad you did, so I could feel real comfort.

And thus, I dedicate my 1043 to you.

Life is most beautiful when it’s back is turned against you, with the right people around™ 1043.

Happy Hedgie is happy now ^^

Sometimes I imagine myself being big fish in a small pond who’s been wanting to be drowned in the ocean since 1095. 1046

I really want to forget some things. And they say the best way to forget something is to turn it into literature. Maybe I should write a book before what always happens.1045

Many mornings when I wake up, I always realise something. Things I was never sure of and never realized when you were around. 1044

That’s besides the case. 14th Jan, another dreadful day that’s coming. Why so? Cos it’s Ippt. Good Luck Joshua, you gonna need that, bad. I don’t actually see myself heading down for RT cause I don’t think I should fail Ippt. But we’ll see how unlucky I get. Or should I say how unfit I’ve become. >.<

And I’ve been figuring out how to eat a pomergranate ever since my pope brought back a basketful of em. Honestly, getting the juice is a hell load easier for lazy piggu like me.

I’m gonna be signing off from here. Gotta go for a run early tmr. Or in case I have work. Like last min. Hella last min.

Hello 2010. Please make me smile this year.

-

I finally caught Avatar, in 3D!! And I did some shopping today. Window shopping to be exact. Anyway, thank you benny for accompanying me heh

It’s prime time for me to do some shopping as well cause Christmas is right round the corner! Christmas is actually the only festive season that I celebrate but I guess it’ll be a little different this year. Every year during Christmas there’ll be loads of things that I want for me myself and others around me. 

But this year, all I want for Christmas, is you.

But I told him no.

I said if  you spend your entire life avoiding someone or something, then it actually meant it still has control over your life. 

I didn’t know why I blurted it out. Nor did I actually understand it when it first came out of me.

Avoidance..

You are simply coping by not giving yourself a chance to cope.

I am not something. Nor I am someone you should be avoiding. 

I didn’t know the things I should’ve known. I didn’t do the things I should’ve done. Now I know the things I should’ve known. Let me do the things that I should do. 

To that someone whom actually held a special place in my heart when I couldn’t realise or see it. You still mean something. In fact,  more than you and I can ever imagine.

I’ve been busy the past few days and I will still be, especially the upcoming month. I’m actually doing another Tv Drama in Dec while still doing my 180 episode drama Your Hand in Mine™, which is already airing. Seriously, I love loading myself with tons and tons of work so I can get away from the shiet that I’m feeling. 

But like I’ve mentioned in the previous entry. I’m not the same as before. I don’t know why. I did something crazy(not wrong) recently and told Joe about it. The look of his face when he asked me if I’m sure. It didn’t make me think twice though. I thought I was sure, and I think I still am. I might not go ahead. Definitely not now. But maybe in the near future I guess, who knows?

I thought I truly existed. But moments just pass by your life like that. Sometimes I wonder, who/what is my justification of existence. Or rather, whose justification of existence actually needs me to complete it.

All I want, is to be given a meaning to my life that I have no right to expect, and that no one can ever take from me. You gave me life. Now show me how to live. 

Sometimes I can’t even make out the words that come out of my mind.

Time to direct my anger towards people instead of things. Time to focus my energy on answers, not excuses.

No no no, one more D and I’m in trouble.

God help me.

If you wanna look at the pictures that he’s taken. Kindly visit my facebook profile. I believe it’s not private so you should be able to see the photos. 

Anyway, I didn’t actually realise i was laughing and having so much fun that day aye? Looking back at the pictures actually made me realise I might be a sunshine boy at times too. Hmmm.

And yes. I actually had drumming lessons with Sam today. I brought my camera but UNFORTUNATELY, it failed on me. NICE.. It just shows how things completely phail on you when u least expect it. He managed to capture 1 shot though. Yupp just 1 before it died but I haven’t had the chance to look at it yet. 

But aye, there’ll still be loads of chances.